{"id":1152,"date":"2023-01-17T16:18:32","date_gmt":"2023-01-17T16:18:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.feelnubia.com\/?p=1152"},"modified":"2025-05-31T23:05:56","modified_gmt":"2025-05-31T23:05:56","slug":"you-might-be-from-mars-but-you-live-on-venus-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/feelnubiatest.com\/index.php\/2023\/village-family-relationships\/you-might-be-from-mars-but-you-live-on-venus-now\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018You might be from Mars, but you live on Venus now\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\">\r\n<div id=\"attachment_2102\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2102\" class=\"wp-image-2102 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/feelnubia.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/rice-74314_640-400x358.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"269\" srcset=\"http:\/\/feelnubiatest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/rice-74314_640-400x358.jpg 400w, http:\/\/feelnubiatest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/rice-74314_640-250x224.jpg 250w, http:\/\/feelnubiatest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/rice-74314_640-150x134.jpg 150w, http:\/\/feelnubiatest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/rice-74314_640-50x45.jpg 50w, http:\/\/feelnubiatest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/rice-74314_640-100x90.jpg 100w, http:\/\/feelnubiatest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/rice-74314_640-200x179.jpg 200w, http:\/\/feelnubiatest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/rice-74314_640-300x269.jpg 300w, http:\/\/feelnubiatest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/rice-74314_640-350x313.jpg 350w, http:\/\/feelnubiatest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/rice-74314_640-450x403.jpg 450w, http:\/\/feelnubiatest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/rice-74314_640-500x448.jpg 500w, http:\/\/feelnubiatest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/rice-74314_640-550x492.jpg 550w, http:\/\/feelnubiatest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/rice-74314_640-600x537.jpg 600w, http:\/\/feelnubiatest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/rice-74314_640.jpg 640w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-2102\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Men and women are opposite and interdependent (Image by Lebensmittelfotos, Pixabay)<\/p><\/div>\r\n<\/figure>\r\n<h3>You Might Be from Mars, But You Live on Venus Now: How to Knock Some Emotional Sense into Your Man<\/h3>\r\n<p>In today\u2019s world of evolving gender roles and emotional intelligence, it\u2019s time we ditch outdated relationship advice. We need an upgrade of the emotional software in our love lives. For decades, women have been told to accommodate emotionally stunted men, spoon-feed their partners empathy, and make endless allowances for bad behavior, all in the name of &#8220;understanding the male psyche.&#8221;<\/p>\r\n<p>But how long must we continue to excuse grown men for refusing to grow emotionally?<\/p>\r\n<h4>The Outdated Myths Holding Relationships Hostage<\/h4>\r\n<p>From gender stereotypes to absent father figures, society has handed men every excuse in the book for not showing up emotionally in their relationships. The list is long:<\/p>\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>\r\n<p><em>\u201cHe wasn\u2019t raised to talk about feelings.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>\r\n<p><em>\u201cHe\u2019s under pressure to be the provider.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>\r\n<p><em>\u201cIt\u2019s just how men are. Blame biology.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<p>And of course, who could forget the king of all clich\u00e9s: <em>\u201cMen are from Mars, women are from Venus.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\r\n<p>That phrase, popularized by John Gray\u2019s 1992 relationship bible, <em><a href=\"https:\/\/lookingfortruth.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Men-are-from-mars-women-are-from-venus.pdf\">Men Are from Mars<\/a>, Women Are from Venus<\/em>, was meant to help couples understand each other better. Instead, it built a wall between the sexes, making it seem like empathy and emotional literacy were coded into our DNA, and men simply missed out.<\/p>\r\n<h4>Are We Really That Different?<\/h4>\r\n<p>Gray\u2019s book emphasized gender-based differences in how men and women give and receive love. One infamous example is the \u201cpoints system.\u201d Supposedly, men award big points for big gestures while women give one point for every effort, no matter the size. That\u2019s a cute theory, until you realize that <strong>everyone keeps score<\/strong>. Not just women. Not just men. Humans.<\/p>\r\n<p>Think about it.<br \/>Siblings keep score.<br \/>Co-workers keep score.<br \/>Even pets know when they\u2019ve been shortchanged on treats.<\/p>\r\n<p>So when it comes to relationships, pretending that only one gender notices who gives more is just dishonest.<\/p>\r\n<p>Let\u2019s take a closer look: If your partner forgave your affair during a vulnerable time, do you think she marked that as one point? That\u2019s a lifetime override. A \u201cGet Out of Jail Free Forever\u201d card that you\u2019ll never live down. And no, surprising her with breakfast in bed won&#8217;t balance the emotional ledger. Emotional math is complex, but it\u2019s not exclusive to women.<\/p>\r\n<h4>Love Isn\u2019t a Game, But There Are Rules<\/h4>\r\n<p>Before we can play the game of love, we have to agree on the rules. And too many couples jump into serious relationships without ever discussing the emotional \u201cterms and conditions.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p>Should gifting her something she explicitly asked for count the same as a surprise present she didn\u2019t see coming but loved? Does buying flowers count as a romantic gesture if they were originally funeral blooms for Aunt Lizzy and you quietly reused them?<\/p>\r\n<p>These are questions worth asking before someone gets hurt.<\/p>\r\n<p>Relationships require emotional clarity. When expectations are vague, disappointments multiply. If you didn\u2019t set the rules early, it&#8217;s never too late. Call a timeout. Sit down together. Reset the board.<\/p>\r\n<h4>Emotional Growth Is Possible for Men Too<\/h4>\r\n<p>Let\u2019s get one thing straight: women aren\u2019t more emotional because they\u2019re born that way. They&#8217;re better at emotional expression because they\u2019re taught from childhood to cry, talk, and care. They grow up living in the land of feelings. Venus, if you will.<\/p>\r\n<p>Men, on the other hand, are trained to suppress emotions, make plans, and remain in control. They only visit Venus on rare occasions: weddings, funerals, or in a moment of vulnerability. But one day, they fall in love and decide to move there permanently. That\u2019s when the real trouble starts.<\/p>\r\n<p>So who teaches them how to live in this unfamiliar place?<\/p>\r\n<p>The answer: <strong>you learn from the natives.<\/strong><br \/>If men are going to thrive in emotional relationships, they need to listen, observe, and adapt. That doesn\u2019t mean becoming someone you\u2019re not. It means evolving into someone better, someone capable of loving with both strength and softness.<\/p>\r\n<h4>Ladies, It\u2019s Time to Raise the Bar<\/h4>\r\n<p>Women, this message is for you, too. If you\u2019ve never discussed expectations with your partner, now\u2019s the time. Stop assuming he\u2019ll read your mind. Don\u2019t suffer in silence. Don&#8217;t let the \u201che\u2019s just a man\u201d excuse become your prison.<\/p>\r\n<p>Remember, love is a right, but marriage is a privilege. It comes with responsibilities, and both partners need to step up.<\/p>\r\n<p>If your man refuses to grow, learn, or engage with you emotionally, then it might be time to tell him:<br \/>\u201cYou might be from Mars, but you live on Venus now. So act like it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<h4>Build the Relationship You Both Deserve<\/h4>\r\n<p>A healthy relationship doesn\u2019t rely on outdated gender manuals. It thrives on communication, empathy, and shared growth. Emotional intimacy isn\u2019t a female domain. It\u2019s a human need.<\/p>\r\n<p>So to the men out there:<br \/>Don\u2019t wait for a crisis before learning how to connect.<br \/>Your partner\u2019s patience will not last forever.<br \/>Rethink your underestimation of the power of showing up emotionally.<\/p>\r\n<p>And to the women:<br \/>Stop settling for emotional bare minimums.<br \/>Don&#8217;t explain away neglect as \u201cjust how men are.\u201d<br \/>Refuse to carry the weight of the relationship alone.<\/p>\r\n<p>Instead, demand balance. Invite transformation. And believe in the possibility of emotional evolution.<\/p>\r\n<p>Because love isn\u2019t about who\u2019s from which planet, it\u2019s about building a world together.<\/p>\r\n<p>Read more about <a href=\"https:\/\/feelnubia.org.uk\/index.php\/2025\/01\/17\/quit-while-youre-ahead\/\">Relationship Tips<\/a><\/p>\r\n<p><em>For more thoughts on marriage and the <a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/45Bm10C\">HELPMEET,<\/a> grab a copy of the <a href=\"https:\/\/store.bookbaby.com\/book\/helpmeet\">e-book<\/a> with the same title by Lola Babalola. <a href=\"https:\/\/store.bookbaby.com\/book\/helpmeet\">NOW selling here<\/a>!!<\/em><\/p>\r\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/feelnubia.org.uk\/index.php\/2025\/about-us\/affiliate-disclosure-transparency-at-feelnubia\/#more\">This article contains affiliate links<\/a><\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[116],"tags":[127,310,313,500,311,155,457],"class_list":["post-1152","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-village-family-relationships","tag-africa","tag-feel","tag-feelnubia","tag-men","tag-nubia","tag-relationship","tag-women"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - 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